O Simon αυτοσυστήνεται στο προφίλ του στο instagram ως "πατέρας τεσσάρων κοριτσιών και σύζυγος μίας μαμάς". Δεν ξέρω αν το διάβασες, αλλά αυτό το ζευγάρι έχει τέσσερις κόρες. Οι δύο είναι δίδυμες και δεν έχουν κλείσει καν χρόνο, ενώ οι άλλες είναι πιο μεγάλες.
Ο Simon ακολουθείται από περισσότερους από 270.000 ανθρώπους, οι οποίοι λατρεύουν να τον βλέπουν να "κακοπερνάει" με τις γυναίκες της ζωής του. Ο ίδιος ανεβάζει πολλές στιγμές της ημέρας του στον λογαριασμό του και δείχνει ιδιαίτερη αδυναμία στις τεράστιες λεζάντες οι οποίες περιγράφουν τι ακριβώς ζει στην κάθε εικόνα, αλλά και πώς νιώθει.
Στις περισσότερες των περιπτώσεων, ο Simon περιμένει από τη γυναίκα του ή κάποια ανώτερη δύναμη να τον σώσει, χρησιμοποιώντας φυσικά πάντα σαν όπλο του το χιούμορ, προκειμένου να βγαίνει από τη δύσκολη θέση στην οποία μπορεί να σε φέρει πολύ συχνά το να έχεις τέσσερις κόρες.
The older girls were still away at dinner time this evening so rather than default to a 'dad special' (a pouch of nondescript food, a bananna and a biscuit) , I actually cooked. This is the first time they truly responded to a question I've asked and it's with a NO, followed by laughter. Man, they're tough critics. It was like a swift baby sized kick to the nuts and my ego. I wanted to shove the bowl right in their smug faces but thought better of it. Kind of sets the tone for the rest of my life I guess. Next time they'll get bread and water from me followed by a stern look. #nexttimeitsbreadornothing #gordonramseywouldgomental #babykickstomyego #ofcourseiatetheleftovers #dadlife #fatherofdaughters #instadad
There used to be a time when Fridays nights meant going out drinking with friends and waking up with a hangover that that would require surgery to remove. However Marnie came home today with the dreaded bi-annual "There are nits / lice going around at school" letter, so our Friday nights are now spent carrying out small scale genocide on colonies of unwanted scalp intruders. @mother_of_daughters & I will now spend the rest of the evening quietly observing each other to see which one of us start scratching our heads first whilst mentally cursing all children everywhere. Awesome. #betteryoustartscratchingafterreadingthis #fridaynightarentwhattheyusedtobe #parenting #keepingitreal #nits #dotheyevenhaveapurpose #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad
I seem to forget to feed myself sometimes. I can get to 5pm and realise I've had nothing other than a cup of tea that's been microwaved 5 times and has a skin on it that's thicker than I feel after watching a documentary of dark matter. The twins, on the other hand, get 3 square meals a day spooned directly into their mouths. I tried crouching between them in the hope @mother_of_daughters would feed me too (FYI I don't have tiny arms) although I was rumbled by Delilah who kicked up a fuss. They have absolutely zero loyalty or compassion for me. Get between these girls & their food and you may just lose a finger. #noidonthavetinyarms #foodoverfathers #arewefeeders #theydontsharefood #nowonderimlosingweight #microwavetea #fatherofdaughters #instadad #dadlife
Should I get offended that when I'm in charge of dressing the girls, instead of being given free rein to 'get creative' and use my couture fashion eye to create a 'wow' outfit that will catch the eye and imagination, I walk into their room and find that all the clothes are laid out already. Granted I have a tendency to dress them as boys, and will invariably forget the importance of layers, and that spots and strips clash, and that socks are essential, and that a baby grow doesn't count as day wear, and that I dress them the same, i cant tell them apart for the rest if the day, but surely if you give me a chance, the law of averages will mean I'll get it right one day! #daddressing #twins #dontdressthemthesame #theylovechewingshoes #icandressachild #badly #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad
Is it only me or do all men learn to sleep on an 8 inch strip at the edge of the bed? Irrespective of the size of the bed, or how many people are in it, I always find myself relegated to the 'man zone'. I've become so used to sleeping on this limited area of bed real estate, that I'm confident that I could sleep on top of a wall & not fall off. On the other side of the bed (the promised land), @mother_of_daughters sleeps like a star fish all night long, kneeing me in the back and generally complains about me coming to bed too late, being too cold or my foot encroaching onto her territory. At least the bed's nice and warm, even if the reception isn't sometimes! I hope that next Sunday, on #NationalLieInDay, I'll not only gain another hour in bed, but more space - but it's doubtful ! If you want to regain that hour (and some space for that matter) click in the link in my bio, loads of great prizes to be won @SimbaSleep #bedrealestate #livingontheedge #girls #twins #daughters #therestoomanygirls #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #gopro
This evening I took my girl gang for a walk to nowhere in particular so @mother_of_daughters could have some time on her own - not to clear up or to cook dinner for us, but to have a bath and paint her nails. Sometimes I forget that it can be full on at home with the girls - the pay is terrible (actually, non-existent, baby smiles don't count) and that she gets naff all time for herself. She's been using this @quilityapp and after taking its advice to take more time for herself, she genuinely seems calmer and more relaxed which is no bad thing for me, her and the little people that lodge in our house rent free. #ahappywifemeansahappylife #takesometimeforyourself #ididntpushthepramonce #girlgang #twins #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #ad #instadad #parenting
Why does bathtime always involve cramming as many family members into one of the smallest rooms in the house at the same time? I guess the eldest 2 like it as it's like a cheap version of the sea life centre. They get to watch these weird pink slippery things splash about and generally contort themselves out of these chairs while sucking the life out of some sponges. Clemmie and I are there just play life guards and crowd control. I should charge admission. Just avoid the dirty nappies at the door and the water EVERYWHERE. Actually, forget it - Health and safety would definitely shut us done. #waterstaysinthebathgirls #bathtime #sealifecentreathome #cheapentertainment #twins #mygirls #theyneverstayinthesechairs #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad
Teething is now in full effect and the girls want us to know all about it. An email would have sufficed but it seems they'd rather use their voices to get the message across that they really aren't enjoying this stage of development. Its not straight screaming, it's more like the sound a wounded animal might make that just wants to end it all. I can't blame them though, it's like a mini scene from 'Alien' in there at the moment, just in very very slow motion (and of course teeth don't then go on to kill you and the crew of your ship so a few subtle differences but essentially the same). #canyoubulkbuybonjela #teethinglikealien #twins #thisisntfunforanyone #doubleteethingisnotdoublethefun #fatherofdaughters #instadad #dadlife #daddydentist